I had been alerted to this website today, and I find myself feeling sick (again).  It is these corrupt tactics that ensure children are taken from their mothers.  I see these tactics used and talked about all the time….they are implied by father’s rights lawyers in their advertising.  Mothers need to know what they are up against if their abuser wants the children.  Because one of the main reasons besides wanting to punish and control his victim (you), gettting out of paying child support and possibly getting it from his victim is at the top of his list.

Personally I think that if the child support issue was tossed out or dealt with more fairly for everyone’s sake, fathers would probably be in favor of letting children continue being with their primary caregiver instead of ripping them away. But there are always the abusers out there that nothing else matters except hurting their victim.

This is from a real father’s rights site and repost on the appropriately named blog World O’ Crap:

How Fathers Can Win Child Custody

Introduction

So you have a child with a soon-to-be ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and you are wondering what is going to happen to your children. The first thing you need to be aware of is this: The laws and family court system are not set up fairly towards fathers. The laws are set up to award custody to the parent who has had the most involvement so far raising the child, which means the parent who has worked the least – this is virtually always the mother. This usually guarantees that the mother will receive custody of the child, and since child support is mandatory, that you will be paying several hundred dollars in child support to her each month. Now does this make sense?

Hell no!  Why should the parent who has had the most involvement in raising the child get custody of the child?  But even more importantly, why should the other parent have to pay to support that child after splitting with its mother?  (As the author says later, “A fairer system would be to eliminate child support and have the parent who is fortunate enough to be awarded custody have full responsibility for providing for the children when they are with that parent.” And if we had that fairer system, you could let your bitch of an ex have custody of the damned rugrats.  But since we have our current unfair system, your only recourse is to get custody of the kids so that you can save some bucks.  Um, and do what’s best for your precious offspring.  Yeah, that’s the ticket!

If you believe that you are the better parent, you need to read this guide and find out everything you need to know in order to have the best chance at obtaining full custody. If you choose not to get full custody of your child, not only are you in for a lifetime of emotional headaches but a lot of child support – which you will find does not all get spent on your child.

But what if you don’t believe you are the better parent?  Well, fight for full custody anyway, because otherwise you’ll be paying child support, and it will go toward such things as paying the mortgage for the house your child lives in — a house that your ex will also get to live in.  And that’s not fair!!!

The amount of child support you will end up paying as your child grows up is enough to buy a nice house. Let’s say you split up with your ex, and you have two children together, ages 1 and 4. The court orders you to pay $500/mth per child, based on your $45,000/year income, until the children turn 21 (some states end child support when the child turns 18, and others require it through age 21 and beyond). By the time your children are grown, you will have paid $444,000 in child support. The main cost of raising a child is childcare; outside of childcare (which ends around age 12), do you really believe that $1,000 is being spent on your two children each month?

The USDA has estimated the costs of raising a child.  In a single-parent home, with a pre-taxed income of $39,1000 per year, it would be $518 a month for the one-year-old, and $558 a month for the four-year-old (it gets progressively more expensive as the kids get older).  So yeah, I can really believe that $1000 a month is being spent on your two hypothetical children.

As the author notes, now that your ex is single, she’ll have to work full-time to support herself and the kids, and since she’ll make less money than you, “how does that qualify her as a better parent than you?”  (Not counting the fact that all the time she’s already spent raising the kids may have contributed to her having a better relationship with them.  However, if she gets custody of the children, the courts will make you pay child support.  And ”the main reason why the system is set up this way?”

The government would rather have you subsidize her than pay for her going on welfare. And the feminists have convinced the lawmakers and judges in society that women shouldn’t have to work to support their children if they don’t feel like it.

So, since she now works full-time, making her no better as a parent than you are, why should the feminists force you to subsidize her, so that she doesn’t have to work to support her children?  If the damn goverment would just let her go on welfare, then things would be just fine.  But NOOOO!  It insists that you support your kids.

But why pay child support when it’s so much cheaper to just get custody of the kids — so, let’s learn “The Rules of Winning Child Custody.”

1.  Get an agressive lawyer

When you consider how much money you have to lose in child support over the years until your child turns 18 or 21, and the amount of emotional stress you will go through all of those years if your ex wins custody, and the fact that the court system is stacked against fathers, do you really think it’s wise to handle your case without the assistance of an attorney?

Sure, lawyers are expensive, but think of all the money you’ll save by not having to pay child support.

I hear you ask, “Doesn’t it actually cost money to raise kids, so that if I do get custody, I’ll still have to pay for their upkeep?”

Heck no!  You can send them out to work as chimney sweeps, and actually make money on the deal!

2.  Use the court system to wear down your ex

Whether you are representing yourself or have hired an attorney, keep in mind the more work you create for your ex, the more you will wear down her resolve to fight you and keep full custody of the kids. If your ex’s main reason for retaining full custody of your children is to collect free child support from you, it will vanish fast once all of the child support is going to pay her attorney to fight you in court.

And if, because of your aggressive use of the court system, she is forced to use all her child support funds to pay lawyers, will your kids suffer?  Who cares.  The important thing is preventing your ex from benefiting from your dough.  (The best interests of the children never really come up in this piece, oddly enough.)

3. Keep the playing field uneven

If your ex does not have an attorney, consider yourself fortunate – this gives you a huge advantage. The less she knows about the legal system, the better chance you have that she will do something in the eyes of the court that will hurt her chances of getting custody. If she asks for your opinion on whether she needs an attorney, try to convince her that she does not need one and emphasize the cost to her.

In fact, tell her that lawyers charge a billion dollars an hour, so you certainly aren’t going to use one.  Say that you don’t want to make this process adversarial, and that you don’t see why the two of you can’t work out a joint custody arrangement that will make things as easy as possible for the kids. … And if your ex believes you, then you and your lawyer (the most blood-thirsty one in the state) can use it as evidence that she’s mentally incompetent.

4. Harrass your ex, both in person and via the court system

When you talk to your ex, such as when you are arranging to exchange the children for your visitation, be sure to bring up issues with her raising your children that bother you. The more you point out ways she needs to change her behavior in order to be a better parent and maintain custody, the more you will bother her. You know your ex – will she eventually give in if you continue to bring up issues that bother her and continue to take her to court?

You know your ex — can you cause her to have a mental breakdown if you keep harping on what a bad mother she is, and how the courts are going to take away her kids?

5.  Cause your kids to bond with people in your camp, so the judge will think twice about taking them away from their new loving relationships

What you can do: Get remarried first, then file for custody. If you have relatives nearby, pay them to baby sit so they become a big part of your child’s life.

You can dump the new wife and the paid relatives once you have custody.

6.  Make it look like your kids’ lives suck

If you have not yet split up physically, try to remain in the house with the children and have your ex move out. If you have left the home, start building a case as to why the child is not doing well living at the house, attending the nearby school, etc. Do research on the school or daycare the child is attending to obtain evidence of why that particular facility is bad for your child. Information on schools can be found on the state department of education websites, and information on daycares is generally also available from the state, usually from the department responsible for welfare.

Start building a case about why the house the kid has always lived in, and the school he’s always attended, are bad for him, even though you evidentially thought they were just fine when you were with his mother.

7.  Make your ex look crazy

Collect any records you have on the mental instability of your ex or her family, including medical records, and any police reports or convictions of their physical violence. Have a tape recorder handy to tape her if she has angry outbursts.

And how do you collect medical records on your ex and her family?  Well, use your imagination on that one.

And try to provoke her, so you can tape her angry outburts — it will not only help your case,  it’s also good, sadistic fun!

8.  Make the mother of your children appear to be a shiftless, drunken, drug-crazed slut

If there is no substantial change in circumstances, you will need to provide the court with a composite of reasons why your ex is unfit. For example, a strong case might provide evidence that your ex abuses alcohol, drugs, sleeps around and goes from boyfriend to boyfriend who use drugs in front of the children, cannot maintain a stable residence, leaves the children excessively in daycare, which is a substandard daycare, smokes in the house and in the car although the children are asthmatic, cannot maintain a steady job, and frequently withholds visitation from you.

This would be a “strong case,” hint, hint.  Surely you’ve got reason to believe that your ex does most of the things on that list.

9.  Take a tip from Coppola’s The Conversation, and “Record All of Your Phone Conversations With Your Ex and Your Children”

Some states permit you to record phone conversations without the other party knowing. There is a list of all 50 states and their laws on recording phone calls located at http://www.rcfp.org/taping/. If you live in one of the states where it is legal, you should start automatically recording every conversation you have with your ex or your kids when they are at her house.

And, through selective editing, you can use these conversations to prove all kinds of stuff..

10.  At custody evaluation time, get a hired-gun psychology to counter the court’s feminazi social worker

When you file for a change of custody, the court will probably order a custody evaluation. These are assessments by a social worker that usually end up favoring the mother. The type of person that is attracted to this type of job are low income women with a chip on their shoulders; they are not going to be predisposed to making a determination that children should be with their fathers. [...] One way to combat these custody evaluations is to preempt them with a psychological evaluation of your own. Find a child psychologist who has a reputation for being favorable to fathers, and preferably also one on the court’s approved list of psychologists, if the court has one, and have him do a preliminary evaluation of your child.

Social workers are poor, man-hating lesbians – that’s the only reason they would think that a fine father like yourself shouldn’t have custody of your two adorable children, little, um, “Boy” and “Other Kid.”

11.  Get your hired psychologist to ask your kids “leading questions” about how unfit their mom is

You may want to give the psychologist leading questions to ask your child, such as whether your child would rather live with you, if mother abuses drugs, alcohol, or smoking in front of the child, if people close to the mother abuse or sexually touch the child, etc. – whatever bad things your child has indicated to you about living with your ex.

If your child has indicated that the worst thing about living with his mother is that she makes him do his homework, then have the shrink ask him if his mother is damaging his mental health by pushing him too hard.  If he’s complained about how she withheld his allowance because he didn’t clean up his room, then suggest that the psychologist ask him if she is an obsessive control freak with a cleanliness obsession.  And so on.

Anyway, those are just a few of tips on “How Fathers Can Win Custody.”  And do your best to win custody, because otherwise you’ll have to pay child support, and that can really put a crimp in your lifestyle.  Plus, your ex, whom you hate, will have control of that money.  And that’s what winning custody is all about: spiting your ex.

Behind closed doors of the family court system, thousands of women each year lose child custody to violent men who beat and abuse mothers and children. The writer says family courts are not family-friendly and betray the best interests of the child.

(WOMENSENEWS)–Studies show that in approximately 70 percent of challenged cases, battering parents have been able to convince authorities during custody battles that their victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody, according to a recent report published by the American Judges Foundation.

That statement would have once shocked me, but no more. Nor am I surprised when I read that a family court judge has awarded custody of a 3-year-old girl to the father who has violently beaten her mother. I do not even lift an eyebrow when a 2-year-old boy, who comes home from unsupervised visitation with his dad, has a diaper filled with his own rectal blood and that same child is later turned over to his father on a full-time basis. And when a mother is thrown into jail, denied the right to ever see her children again, because she brought up the issue of child abuse in a family court, I’m sickened, but not shocked.

These injustices are commonplace today in the closed-door family court system. These courts often claim to operate in a manner consistent with the “best interests of the child.” In practice this often means that a judge, often a male judge, biased and imperious, defines that phrase. These judges decide, time and time again, when a woman raises the allegation of sexual abuse in a custody dispute, that it is she who will lose her children forever.

I used to think that the family court system was basically fair. That was before my childhood friend, Diane Hofheimer, asked me to consider doing a documentary on the family courts. She had taught herself the law so that she could work with her attorney husband, Charlie Hofheimer, in their Virginia law practice.

Thousands of Mothers Lose Their Children to Abusive Fathers

Representing only women in divorce and custody cases, Diane and Charlie began my education with one grisly case. I thought it was a fluke, but I agreed to look at some of the legal documents. And so began my journey into the dark world of family courts.

What I learned was that thousands of women are losing custody of their children to men with histories of violence and sexual abuse. Sure, these cases are complicated, but it doesn’t take a legal genius to figure out that it’s not good for kids to watch daddy break mommy’s jaw. Research shows a high correlation between domestic violence and child sexual abuse.”We have created a system that purports to be a gatekeeper–keeping victims from victimizers–but the system is really the welcome mat for victimizers to have access to the victims,” says Richard Ducote, a nationally recognized child advocate and attorney. He adds that there has been virtually no change in the process during the past two decades.

In fact, a pilot study in the early 1990s by the California Protective Parent Association and Mothers of Lost Children found that 91 percent of fathers who were identified by their children as perpetrators of sexual abuse received full or partial unsupervised custody of the children and that in 54 percent of cases the non-abusing mother was placed on supervised visitation.

One primary reason for what many consider a disastrous outcome, Ducote and other experts say, is the popularity of the theories of Dr. Richard Gardner, whose ideas are apparently more persuasive to judges than the testimony of battered women and victimized children.

Gardner’s brainchild is Parental Alienation Syndrome. This is the name given for the practice of one parent saying disparaging things about the other parent in an attempt to alienate the child from the ex-spouse. This so-called syndrome is based on anecdotal evidence. Gardner’s books on the subject are self-published, something that should give judges and experts pause, even though he does look good on paper.

He’s a professor at Columbia Medical School and has been publishing papers for two decades. Fathers’ rights groups love him.

Not addressed by Dr. Gardner and his adherents are what a mother should say to a child raped by her father. They merely discount all such allegations as examples of parental alienation syndrome, or some variation of it under a different name such as SAID (Sexual Allegations in Divorce) Syndrome, Malicious Mother Syndrome or some other fabricated condition.

These experts are certainly free to believe whatever they wish to, but much to the harm of thousands of children and their caring, protective parents, these ideas have been accepted by personnel in most of the family courts in the country: the judges, court-appointed lawyers charged with protecting the child’s interests, and custody evaluators such as psychologists and social workers.

In essentially every case in which courts place children with abusers, despite substantial evidence of sexual abuse or domestic violence and no evidence of fabrication on the protecting parent’s part, it is the parental alienation syndrome that is used by the judge, the evaluator or the child’s lawyer to ignore and discount the abuse evidence and to wrongfully construe all of the child’s symptoms as evidence of alienation.
Parental Alienation Syndrome Used to Wrongly Blame Mothers

My colleague Hofheimer is convinced that the so-called syndrome is to psychology what voodoo is to surgery.

“What would a good mother do,” I asked Dr. Gardner two years ago when interviewing him for the documentary, “if her child told her of sexual abuse by his or her father.”

His answer: “What would she say? Don’t you say that about your father. If you do, I’ll beat you.”

That’s on tape and I have a signed release.

In researching my documentary, I have met many honest, caring and courageous mothers who, for speaking the truth, have been publicly called crazy, hysterical and delusional, and labeled with all kinds of pseudo-disorders for being strong and for fighting for the safety of their children.

Yet some of them have been nearly broken by the family court system, and the damage to their children is immeasurable. We must act now to begin reforming our family courts.

Garland Waller is an assistant professor in the Television Department at Boston University’s College of Communication. She has produced more than 10 award-winning documentaries.