4/3/10 -
On Wednesday, Andre Leteve killed his two sons because he "feared losing them to his soon to be ex." Is this really believable? could that really be his excuse, because he has lost them in the most ultimate way possible now. The only logical explanation is that he wanted to hurt his soon to be ex in the most prolific way possible, by killing her children. This is an epidemic that is running rampant through our country. yet, our law makers and family court judges are ignoring it, why? That is the ultimate question.
Today, my children's father, Adam James, disobeyd the court order and refused to let me see my children nor did he take them to the synagoge to participate in the observance of Passover. Then he had my children call me to tell me what a great day they had not seeing me. Again, look at the actions - they are the actions of a person trying to inflict pain on another. This is what family annihilators do. They seek to inflict pain and control over the people in their lives, usually wives and/or children. When the wife/girlfriend/babymama place themselves beyond their reach, they committ the ultimate act that will inflict pain for the rest of their lives, they kill their children.
Yet, our media, lawmakers and family court officials make excuses for these men. They claim that these men are under pressure due to the economy and the wieght of societies expectations of men. Excuse me! Yet, women are constantly being held to a higher standard and when we meet and exceed the bar, it gets raised. We have to protect our children, yet we can not take our concerns to any agency because that means we are attempting to alienate our children from their fathers. How many children must die before something is done to protct them.
3/2/10
In January of 2009, in front of Ruth Hilliard, Gail christensen made the case for supervised visits and begged Hilliard to order for them. She said that "Mother will do anything to have 5 minutes with her children." This is the belief in Maricopa County. Punish the women who refuse to prostitute themselves to their children's fathers because unlike fathers, mothers will do anything to be with their children. Well, Gail was wrong. I am not willing to prostitute myself to have more time with my children and that's what it would take for me to afford supervised visits. So, Gail, Adam, Kathleen Miholich, Kim Wright and, quite possibley, Ruth Hilliard are doing the worst thing possible to a child and removing their mother from their lives. Now, I know that these people feel that Gina can take my place. The fact that they believe this, shows us just how inept at their jobs that they are. No one can take the place of a mother... children who lose their mother are affected by it their whole life.
during one of my first visits with Kathleen, I pointed out these comments made in court by Gail. I also pointed out that she was attempting to claim that I spend all of my time on Saturdays screaming at the girls' to hate their father. For their protection and mine, I had playdates and witnesses to refute this attack. Apparently, they still found a way to recommend supervised visits. Let this be a lesson to all of you out there, you can not protect your children from the system. Maricopa County is a father's rights community that does not care about the best interests of the children. One of themost reputable custody evaluators, John Moran et al. is a known father's rights proponent. They have been caught hiding evidence of abuse against father's in order to rule for the father. In a case in which they desperately managed to skew things for Adam, they had to have Gina in the picture to award him the majority of the parenting time and they are using play dates and television to say that I am a bad mother. Never mind that both the girls' kindergarten teachers recommended play dates and activities to further socialize the girls. Adam does not make play dates for them.
As a therapist, the goal is to do no harm, yet Kim Wright is harming the girls' irreputably... the girls' are expendable in Adam's efforts to hurt me. I ask you, why is he going to these lengths when I have begged him to end the hostilities. I will always fall back on his blatant anti-semistism... One of the things he kathleen Miholich have in common. If we had made it to step one, the girls' were to be raised Jewish... notice how nothing I could have done would have gotten us to step one. Let's see if Kathleen's report to the judge lists Adam's lies and attempts to remove me from the girls' lives... oh wait, that's Kathleen's objective too. If anyone would like to comment to Kathleen Miholich, you can reach her at her home office:
Kathleen Miholich
16826 S. 34th Stret
Phoneix, AZ 85048
480-706-9016 or 602-615-2509
*this is straight from her business card*
2/28/10
So, Adam has been writing to Kathleen Miholich that he thinks it is dangerous for my girls' to know about the web site or someother crap to that affect... I have a suggestion for you, Jabba (I like to call Adam Jabba the Hut b/c he looks like him) stop checking out the website in front of the girls!!! I am sure that he will attempt to make the claim that I should not have the web site and/or write about these things, however I will take the stance that there is a thing called, "freedom of speech" and the fact is, no one is forcing you to follow my website!!
Next, I have to wonder about this issues, according to my daughters, whenever they go back to Adam and Gina they are bombarded with them wanting to know, "what bad things mommy said about them tody." When my girls tell them that I don't say anything, they get browbeaten and called liars. The girls also mentioned the "cold shower" punishment again. Adam and Gina like to strip them naked and throw them into cold showers as punishment. Now, this is a particularly popular form of punishment among child abusers because it does not leave any bruises. Child abusers are becoming more creative in their punishments because if there are no bruises, then judges do not consider it to be abuse. So, my question is, in order to help my children avoid the inevitable abuse they are going to suffer at the hands of Adam and Gina James, should I send them back with something to tell on me for and thus get damned by the judges and Kathleen for speaking ill of Adam and Gina? Or do I continue to claim that we are one big family and attempt to make it seem as if we are getting along only to know that my children are going to be browbeaten to make up something that I said in order to avoid being abused... that is the conundrum that I face. I mean, in the end the girls' are making things up - if you torture a prisoner long enough they will tell you what you want to hear to stop the torture, and they feel bad because of doing so. What would you do?
So, Kathleen's report comes out and as expected it is very negative me and pro father. I wonder what Mary will say when I show her proof that Kathleen lied to her for all those months and she never really thought that Adam was the problem. Kathleen claims that I am vindictive and so forth. You are hurting my children and I am supposed to sit back and not fight it? If Adam were a stranger who abducted my children and did the things that they tell me he does, then I would be viewed as well within my rights to fight for the truth and my children. However, he is their father and therefore is allowed to continue his abuse. I am so tired of when I talk or discuss what the girls' are telling me that he and Gina are saying about me, that it is discounted and when he reports stuff that it is believed as gospel. I have spent the last 12 months arguing with Kathleen that it can't be both ways. Thank goodness that her appointment is over. However, I still believe that she is a danger. There have to be others out there who agree with me. I know that it is frightening to go up against someone who has such control over your life, but until we unite - she will continue to harm our children.
I guess the only good thing that could come out of the extra time that I will have on my hands is that I can focus on getting Kathleen removed from the PC list. If anyone out there has any ideas of guidance, I look forward to hearing from you.
2/25/10
Is it my imagination or are we reading about a new murder/suicide every week? I realize that in writing on this topic, Adam will once again be able to scream that I am unstable. However, I am becoming increasingly alarmed at the number of murder/suicides that are appearing in the news. Now, since I started this web site I have been made aware of the issues facing our families, women and children (and fathers!!) and they worry me. I know that when I was pregnant with my daughters, I had many "dreams" of what kind of life I would provide for them. When, as a parent, you are faced with how dangerous the world is becoming, you worry about your children and what kind of future they are going to have, or at least I do.
Sometimes, when I am talking to other mothers and fathers, we discuss how when we were younger we could walk 8 blocks to the park by ourselves and how today we won't let our children play in the front yard by themselves. I think that all of these things fall along the same idea. The world is a scary place and I don't think that our law makers are making the right choices to make it safer for us. Does this make me unbalanced for thinking this way? Not according to the other parents I talk with, they agree with me. Below is another murder attempted suicide. Now this little boy will be left to grow up alone. Left with the knowledge that his father killed his mother and tried to kill himself. What will that do to the little boys psyche? Were there signs that could have prevented this tragedy and if so, what were they? I think it is time to start taking an active stance against Family Annihilators, murderers and others of the same ilk.
JACKSON, MS (WLBT) - A Jackson woman is dead and her husband is in the hospital, in what appears to be a botched murder-suicide attempt.
Jackson police were called to 121 Valley Ridge in northwest Jackson just before 8:30 Tuesday morning. A family member had discovered the body of Sharon Kelly, 45.
She was pronounced dead on the scene with a gunshot wound to the head. With her, was her husband Louis Kelly, 56, who suffered a gunshot wound to the upper torso.
Police believe Louis Kelly shot his wife and then turned the gun on himself. He was taken to the U-M-C. His condition is not available.
The couple has a young son, who was at school at the time.
2/21/10
Family Annihilators -
With all of the talk of Family Annihilators in the news these days, one has to wonder how long is is going to take the Family Court system to catch up with the realities of life. The problem is that the reportings of Family Annihilators almost seem to romanicize these men. They couldn't care for their families and they felt that there were no other options.. excuse me?! Murder is murder no matter what, unless of course your life is in danger.. the imminent danger clause. What about the family annihilators who choose to committ the final act of control over their victims by taking their lives? Why are we not reporting on these cases more, is it because they can not be romanticize these men?
When you consider that only 5 to 10% of custody cases are high conflict, then account for cases in which domestic violence are precedent, has any one completed a study of the probability that these men will kill the ex and children? Every day we are reporting on fathers killing, but it seems that Fathers Rights Groups are able to turn our heads around and occupy us with thoughts of Susan Smith... How many fathers killed last week? How many fathers will kill this week? And will Adam Marc James of Phoenix, AZ be one of them? It's always been my fear, this is a man who never wanted these two beautiful girls, who threatened me, attempted to cause a miscarriage and whose complete actions are those of a man who does not love his children. After all, if he did, he would let my mother provide clothing for them... let me send books back with them -these minor things that would make life better for them. It might seem trivial to you, but I think these basic denials of these very items hint to the future that awaits them. If Adam can deny his children the basics of every day life out of spite, what will keep him from killing them when they no longer have a purpose for him? isn't it then that he will enact the final act of control over them, me and a system he is intent on controlling?
If Kathleen Miholich would make public the tape of our last session, you would hear Adam claiming that He is in Control and he decides what where and ... the very words, I believe, of a future Family Annihilator... Adam Marc James, ***-**-2174 of Phoenix, AZ.
"Heavenly Puss" -
No, I am not about to write something X-rated, "Heavenly Puss" is the title of a Tom and Jerry cartoon. This is a cartoon that Ellen James Gadinis, fourth grade teacher at Quail Run Elementary, allowed her beloved 6 1/2 year old granddaughters to watch. In this cartoon Tom dies and goes to Heaven but he is found not acceptable because of all of his bad acts against Jerry. He has to get Jerry to forgive him and then he can get into Heaven. However, he only has one day (I think) and then he'll go to Hell and the Devil. Jerry refuses to sign in time and Tom ends up going to Hell. My daughter, R, was terrified by this cartoon. Ellen had them watch it twice during a sleep over that they had with her and her husband, Chuck Gadinis. Does this mean she has the DVD of this episode and plays it for my children? Is this really appropriate for my children to be watching? As a fourth grade teacher, shouldn't she be aware that it has concepts that are frightening to children? Is she an appropriate babysitter for my children considering that she deliberately allows them to watch frightening cartoons?
I mean, what is the purpose of having them watch a cartoon about hell? Is she deliberately trying to frighten them with the concepts of hell and Satan? Would you want this woman teaching your child - I, for one, am glad that neither of my children can be in her class when they get to fourth grade. This kind of deliberate cruelty is unacceptable.
2/20/10
Another Saturday with my girls. We had a b-day party to go to at Sweet and Sassy.. What I found sad was that the bubble bath that they made at the party, they could not take back to their father's because he would throw it away, his spite and need to hurt me is affecting our children so greatly and there is no reasoning with him.
Yesterday, I was at school for Book Worms and i was looking at R as she was standing in front of the class, her shirt is too small. It breaks my heart that Adam Marc James will not accept gifts of clothing for the girls from my friends and family. He has stated that he will only accept cash. I fear this is to enable his and his wife's alcoholism. None of my family or friends will give him money.
I am left to remember my own childhood when my parents were divorced. My grandmother sent clothes for our birthdays and Christmas/Channukkah as well as taking us shopping before school each year. My mother did not like everything she selected, however we did and that was all that mattered to my mother. She saved my mother thousands of dollars a year and my mother was greatful for it. I think that it shows Adam's true motives in his refusal of clothing and toys for the girls.
They have been wanting to get new Zsu Zsu pets with some of their holiday money, I let them get a hamster today (Zsu Zsu) however, they could not take it to Adam's house because he would throw it away. No matter what is said to him that they are picking out the clothes and they are spending their own money on the toys, he can't comprehend it. It is so frustrating.. yet I am used to it and used to his hurting the girls.
anyway, they told me that Saturday is not their favorite day of the week because it goes by too fast... From the minute they get to me, they are asking about the time because they want to make sure that they have a lot of time left...
I challenged Adam to "lay down his arms" in the best interest of the girls and he filed a new OOP (check it out under "Let's Talk"), there is nothing left for me to do, except to blog about it and go to Washington. My hope is to get publicity and begin telling my children's story all over the television and such. Less than a year ago I created my web site to create a grass roots movement and we are going to Washington... seeking publicity is not such a far-fetched dream.
Another Saturday, another week... no report from Kathleen Miholich. Who are they hurting? What are their true motives? Makes you wonder.... what's wrong with family court...
2010-
I haven't written here for awhile because I was busy blogging. However, I think that it is time to clear up a few issues and with Let's Talk giving me issues, I thought that I would just start writing some things here.
Someone, whose child attend Quail Run, recently viewed my site and let me know that she was a little disappointed in the school's involvement with the case. I would like to take a moment to apologise to Principal Michels for not discussing this earlier.
When reading about Quail Run's involvement, I would like for people to realize that Principal Michels was working under the illusion that he could trust his teacher, Ellen James Gadinis, and her son, Adam Marc James, to tell the truth. That is not his fault. ellen has taught at that school for quite awhile, and while she has issues with students and parents, I am sure that she has behaved herself with Principal Michels. What reason would he have to disbelieve the lies that she and Adam surely told him before he even met me?
Once Principal Michels and I came to the agreement that Adam Marc James is a liar and not to be believed (The agreement was not in those words), we have not had any problems - that I know of. Kathleen Miholich has hinted that Principal Michels calls her complaining about me, however considering the liar Kathleen Miholich is, I doubt her validity.
Quail Run has shown me to be a nice place. Once they gave me the opportunity to prove that I am just a mother who wants to spend time with her children, we have not had any issues. In fact, I have been invited to spend even more time there helping out. I would like to exonerate Quail Run for believing Ellen and Adam's lies. Let's face it, why wouldn't they - they had faith that Ellen was a better person than she is... Now, that they know the truth of the character of Ellen James and her family, I have not been having issues. In fact, things are running much smoother now that the parents know to contact me directly for playdates and parties on Saturdays because Adam won't pass the invitations... the best interest of the girls? Adam James only knows what is his best interest and creating conflict. So, I will not drag the school into the issue of whether or not the girls should be allowed to eat breakfast. If Gina wants to check up on their account and make an ass out of herself, so be it. Ellen, Adam, Gina - Your true colors are showing through!! Thank you.
/19/09
I spent the better part of today (9/19) with my six year old daughters. One of them has taken to a regressive behaviour of sucking on toys, clothes and fingers. I make every attempt to figure out what is upsetting her that she has to find comfort by sucking on things. At first she said nothing, but then she came out and said that she is bothered by the horrible things that her father says about me.
I tried to talk to them about the fact that their father and I can't get along and how it has nothing to do with them. I told them that no matter what horrible things he says about me, they have to remember that God took the best parts of each of us to make them.
My other daughter came up with the thought that since they are a part of me, then when their father is saying horrible things about me, then he is also saying those things about them. I could not refute that because she was right.
It always amazes me how many people ask me if I wish that I had never met their father. How could I wish such a thing? Then my children wouldn't be here. If anyone else was their father, they wouldn't be the people that they are.
So, as I sit frustrated beyond belief, I can't help but wonder who is going to pay for all the therapy that these children are going to need? I understand why my daughter is regressing. It's because she is surrounded with negativity about me 99% of the time, yet the 1% that she spends with me doesn't add up to what her father says about me.
If this is how much he loves his children, they could do without his love. Sad, but true.
9/23/09
My mother went to have lunch with the girls at their school, yesterday. Apparently one of the children had to spend the lunch time sitting in her lap and the other one wouldn't let go of her hand. I often wonder about the teachers. Since their father's mother is a fourth grade teacher at the school, I am sure that they do not hear very flattering comments about my family and myself. Yet, witnessing how unhappy the girls are with their living arrangement must have an impact. Last week one of the teacher's was actually friendly towards me. It was a defining moment, when you cross a bridge. I think that they are beginning to have their doubts about what they have been told about me.
I can't help feeling angry and frustrated with a system that is hurting my children so badly. I think that it is wrong that Judges can use their own baggage to rule on cases and not worry about repercussions. Judges, like Hilliard, need to be held accountable for rulings that go against evidence and law. Yes, law. She is paid to perform a job and if she does a half-ass job, then she should lose the job and have to deal with the legalities of making knowingly bad and biased decisions.
Maybe you are wondering how I could say, knowingly? Well, several times during the trial she stated that she knew we didn't have the money for everything that Julie Skakoon recommended, she also remarked that she knew Father was partly responsible for the contentious relationship. Yet, in her ruling, she is basically forcing me to starve, because I do not have the money for this. Remember all hearings are taped. It just costs to get the transcripts of the hearing. Therefore, someone else needs to get a hold of the transcripts to see if I am right or wrong in what I say. Everybody is worried about this sight and if Hilliard can come after me, I say bring it on. I know what she said in court and I would love for another Judge to hear what is going on. Chances are that they will choose to punish me for being vocal, but my children will always know how hard I fought for them. That is what is important.
9/27/09
Apparently, my children's father has been telling them that I am a lesbian child molester. They informed me that their father does not want me to go into bathrooms with them and that when they change clothes they should not let me see them naked. they also have to inform him if I touch them and how. If I said these things about their father, I would be on supervised visits. However, being that this is Arizona, it is perfectly acceptable to accuse mother's of incest.
On another note, my one daughter was complaining because when their father took them to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," he bought popcorn. She hates popcorn. I asked if he got her another snack and she complained that he only bought her a small bag og gummy bears. I responded by reminding her that if he had bought her a big bag of gummy bears then she would have had trouble falling asleep and then would have been cranky for our day together. I said that I think her father made the best choice. He acknowledged that she does not like popcorn and allowed her to decide this fact for herself, he bought her a snack to enjoy during the movie and took into account that she needed to be able to go to sleep on time so that she could have a good Saturday. I then asked her what she thought he should have done in the situation. She was miffed because I was supposed to talk negatively about her father.
My issue is that I have always refused to talk negatively about their father to them. Yet, because I am a woman, everyone believes that I am the one talking negatively. She is learning it from somewhere...makes you wonder.
Lately I have changed my tactics in dealing with their negative talk about their father. I used to demand that it stop. Now, whenever they say something negative, I just ask if they say negative things about me to him. I don't know how to get them to stop.
10/02/09
Yesterday I went to Quail Run to have lunch with my daughters. Then at 2:30, I went back to read a story to their classes. I only had time to read to one of their classes. When I went to my other daughter's class, she was crying because she thought that I had forgotten. Her teacher allowed me to sit with them for the end of the day activity and to hug and kiss her. I promised that I would read the story this week coming up. Actually, her teacher has invited me to stay and help out in the classroom on Thursdays.
10/03/09
The birthday party! So, I ordered their cakes from Bashas two weeks prior. One wanted a doggie cake and the other wanted Tinkerbell. When I arrived at 11:30 to pick them up for the 1:00 party, I found a beautiful Tinkerbell cake and a plain cake without any decorations. The bakery was out of the doggie decorations and didn't check until that morning. The point of ordering the cakes 2 weeks prior was to give the bakery an opportunity to get the decorations in. They had left me a message at 8am that morning, but I was already out and about. Now, according to the bakery, it was my fault because they attempted to contact me! To top it off, they spelled my daughter's name wrong on the cake. She was home with my mother, so I called her and went through the designs to see what else she could want. She picked Hello Kitty. Bashas redecorated the cake,
The party was at Fiddlesticks fun park. Overall, it was a good party. I was disappointed in the lack of organization. No one was at the bumper boats for us, so I had to hunt someone down to assist us. Then while most of the kids were riding the train, some wanted to ride the dragons. The worker let them and then charged me for it. Also, no one told me to give them a 15 minute advance notice on when we wanted to eat. So, we came in from Putt Putt and then had to wait 20 minutes to eat. I think that when the Fiddlesticks hostess came up to me in the beginning and we discussed the sequence of events that she should have mentioned this. Due to all of these factors, the party was 3 1/2 hours long. Some kids had to leave before cake. Also, my wallet was stolen while there.
Other than that, it was a great time. I will probably have it there again next year, Now that I am aware of everything, I will pay for a dedicated host and make arrangements for what time to eat and go on each ride. The kids loved squirting each other on bumper boats. I hope that they are big enough for go-karts next year.
10/05/03
Went to have lunch with the girls' for their birthday and took cookies for their classes. The girls were not happy because when their birthday announcement was made over the intercom, their father's last name was used. That's not their legal last name. In all the court action that we have been going through since 2006, he has never taken the steps to legally change their last name. I spoke with Principal Michels and he told me that father told him that the girls' wanted it like that, and everyone knows that Father never lies. I discussed this issue with him, however when I realized that we weren't going to make any headway, I told him that it was fine. I understood why he did what he did and that I was just going to take this issue to the Superintendent and the School Board to make it a rule that schools use children's legal names and not whatever name a parent wants to use at the time. Their father hates my last name because it is too Jewish.
I contacted the Parent Coordinator, and surprisingly, she said that I was right. She contacted Father and of course he had a list of complaints from the school about me. What frustrates and upsets me is that Principal Michels and I had a talk after Father's last accusations. I said that since Father and I already have a contentious relationship that I would appreciate it if the school would not complain about me to him. The secod week of school Father claimed that the school said I was rude and nasty. Principal Michels told Kathleen Miholich, our parent coordinator, that it was not true. I asked Principal Michels to take any complaints straight to Kathleen or to come to me. He agreed... so why would he go to Father and complain. Also, their teachers asked me to help in a project called "Book Worms," yet supposedly they are complaining to him that I am causing a disruption in their academic life because I am on school grounds too much. Quail Run is a very good school, but if the school is aiding in Father's attempts at parental alienation or if Father is lying about them, I can't see them wanting us back next year. Less than two months in and we've had two incidences, both due to Father. I would think that the fact that his mother is a fourth grade teacher at the school would keep him in check. I guess though that due to the fact that no one holds him accountable for his behaviour, he thinks that he is omnipetent.
10/07/09
So, it was Wednesday again and I went to Quail Run to help with Book Worms in my other daughter's class. Upon checking in, I ran into Principal Michels. I asked him if Kathleen Miholich had contacted him. He said no. So, I explained that Father was claiming that Principal Michels and the school were complaining about my behaviour. Principal Michels told me that neither he nor the staff had any issues with me. I told him that that made me feel better. I really just wanted to develop a good relationship with the school. It is so frustrating, I have a feeling that Principal Michels' is going to ask that the girls do not come back next year. I guess the question is, whose fault is it if he asks us not to come back? Mine, because I am attempting to be an active parent within the school, all the while attempting to make sure that I don't break any rules or anger anyone? Or Father's, because he keeps lying and then Kathleen has to call and question him if I am screaming, yelling or shoving my tape recorder in his face? I have to tape, it's for the schools protection as well as mine. Father does not care who he hurts with his lies.
10/20/09
More drama. I took the girls' to an appointment with their therapist on Saturday. Father was furious that he was not informed prior. Kathleen told him that my time with the girls' could be spent any way I wanted and I did not have to tell him beforehand. You would think that I would be happy, however Kathleen informed me that there is a nasty website out there attached to my name. Just when I thought I could have some breathing space. I used to go on line and check for any websites, profiles etc. about me. My children's father loves to post all kinds of things about me. Is there no end to how far he will take it to remove me from the children's lives? I get so defeated because I realize that no matter how far I attempt to reach across the line, it's not good enough. what is going to happen when the girls' start talking and the truth comes out?
I went to court with my friend, Amy, last week. Listening to the judge and her ex husband was an eye opening experience. I cared about my friend, but I was a step removed so i could listen to the judge. Let's see if he stands up to his word. Her new trial is 11/30.
10/25/09
So, Kathleen found this blog that I supposedly wrote. In it I am ranting and raving. I attempting to talk to her about the harrassment that I have lived with for the past 5 years, and while she says she understands, it appears not to mean anything. According to my therapist, Kathleen is determined to blame me for the blog. What amuses me is that no matter how many lies she catches Father in, she has never spent as much time and effort as she is spending on attempting to find me at fault for the blog.
Since 2006, every 6 months someone manages to break into my checking accounts. Just the other day, I watched as someone gained access into my computer and messed around with things. My bank account password will randomly get changed. The banking person witnessed that one the last time I changed my accounts.
So, the principal of Quail Run claims that he faxed a copy of the letter I wrote to the Superintendent. Yet, Kathleen and I had a heated discussion over whether or not Father had a right to have a copy of the letter. It makes one wonder why the principal is lying....
10/28/09
At the last minute Kathleen decided to start my visitation with the girls on every other Tuesday. So, it was set up for last night. Thank goodness my manager was in a good mood and gave me the night off. I worked lunch and then rushed to pick up the girls. My mother had taken a copy of the email from Kathleen into Quail Run when she went to have lunch with the girls. So, the principal emailed Kathleen and claimed that I was not planning on picking them up. More drama. I received a text message from Kathleen demanding to know why I wasn't picking them up. I called and spoke with her and asked that unless she hears it from me, to always presume that I am picking up the girls.
I picked up the girls and asked if they wanted to make up their ballet lesson from Saturday. Due to the birthday party agenda, we couldn't fit in ballet. They didn't want to, so we were heading home when my friend called and we agreed to meet with our girls. My friend, M, has been by my side through it all. I was so excited to share this step with her.
The girls, expecially R, were upset because their father had told them that morning not to be afraid when I picked them up. R wanted to know what she should have been afraid about and why he said that. Also, apparently he was going to pack a lunch for them, when the girls asked why he was going to do that because he knew my mother was coming to have lunch with them. So, he decided against it.
"D" told me that he has been telling her that she always gets into trouble when I visit them at school. She has had to move her "owl" off of green to yellow twice since the school year started. It goes green, yellow, orange, red. Red equals a trip to the principal's office. I personally don't think that yellow is that big of a deal, after all they are learning the limitations in the classroom. One yellow was for tapping on the fish tank and the other was for not putting her crayons away when she was told, she was trying to finish a picture.
We discussed this fact and they started to complain that we were only having three hours together. I discussed the idea of the glass being half empty and half full. I talked about instead of looking at the three hours as a small amount, to look at the fact that they got to spend some time during the week with me. We agreed that that we would look at this as the glass half full. "D" said the glass was full to the top.
More on the parent/teacher conference later...
Parent/Teacher Conference:
So, father, of course, does not contact me on where to meet to exchange the girls once we arrive at Quail Run Elementary. I head straight to their classrooms. Mrs. S. is ready to meet, so the girls go to a corner and read while Mrs. S. and I discuss R's progress. About 10 minutes into this, father pokes his head into the classroom. He takes the girls to whomever is taking care of them for the evening. Then he and his wife, "G" come to the meeting. G, of course, is very concerned with their socialization. never mind that I have been socializing them since 18 months. We have to realize that everything prior to April 2008 was insignificant in helping them to develop into the people that they are. I wonder if they realize that they are exactly like every other father and girlfriend/wife. I am beginning to think that there is a course offered through the father's rights groups to teach them how to be irritating.
I attempted to talk to them about the Halloween costumes, however G refused. You have to realize that father can't speak for himself, it is all through G. I am beginning to think that parent coordination with father is useless, if the courts really want the people involved in parenting children to learn to get along, then they should have parent coordination between girlfriend/step mother and mother.
10/29/09
So, on the phone tonight the girls stated that they wanted to dress up as the black cat and bee costumes that are new this year. I attempted to talk to them about how I had talked to their father, and I was so happy that he was allowing them to dress up as they wanted. He forced them to hang up. I sent him a text asking if he would cooperate with me in getting them into their costumes. He never responded. It's typical, if he can't be nasty then he won't bother to talk.
I am still attempting to start a grass roots movement to change the Maricopa County family court system.
10/31/09
Another Saturday with my girls. We started out with our usual Starbucks visit and then off to ballet. After we went out to eat and then back home for some SpongeBob time. I never wanted them to watch anything that didn't teach a lesson, but Papa introduced them to SpongeBob and R loves him. Her father won't let her watch tv, so I try to give them an hour or two every Saturday. She has to get her SpongeBob fix.
When they leave their father to come to me, he always tells them to have fun watching tv until their eyes bleed. There's that parental alienation that he is not committing.
Anyway, this week has been very interesting for me. First of all, I have found a plethura of information which tells me that I am not paranoid, but correct in many of my assumptions. The first of which being Kathleen Miholich.
Kathleen is the court appointed parent coordinator, which you have to remember that the people appointed by the court are only there either due to the fact that they have a personal agenda or due to the fact that they could not make it on their own and rely on courts for business. This is apparently the case with Kathleen. So, we finally reach a point where I am allowed to see the girls every other Tuesday. Of course, Kathleen arranged it at the last minute despite the fact that I have told her that I need a two to three week notice to change things. I have been preparing for her and have had a back up plan in effect in order to be available for the last minute crap that she would pull. I was right.
Now, that we are finally at this stage, Kathleen has decided that she needs $250.00 in order to write a report to Hilliard. She could contact her for free when she wanted Hilliard to rule against me, but it will cost $250.00 (each) in order for her to make the every other Tuesday visit permanent. I feel like she is holding my children hostage.
She is always pulling crap like this, saying that she is going to request to be taken off the case. Then when I say that I want her to go ahead and request to be taken off the case, she refuses saying that she was court appointed. I am so tired of her game playing. She is one of the most unproffesional people that I have met.
11/5/09
So, yesterday I went to my daughters' school to do "book worms," one of the little girl's in "D"'s class told me that her birthday was in two weeks. When I asked if she was having a party, she said yes. The party is scheduled for Saturday. "D" was invited, but her father failed to pass the invite along to me. In the parent/teacher conference, her teacher recommended playdates for her because she is so quiet in class. So, tell me, how is her father acting in her best interest?
I emailed their therapist, Kim Wright, to see if we could change our therapy appointment time, but it was too late. This is what I can't stand about their father, no thought about what might be nice for his daughters.
I managed to get a class roster and now I know why the girls' are not known very well for being sisters, much less twins. "D"'s teacher, Mrs. M. has her listed under her legal name, which is my last name. However "R"'s teacher, Mrs. S. has her listed under her father's last name. Nice... i didn't think that school's were allowed to break the law concerning this. I guess things are different at Quail Run Elementary, when you're related to a teacher who work there.
11/07/2009
So, today my daughters told me that their father told them that he never asked me to kill them before they were born. Where did this come from?! I asked them what would prompt him to say such a thing and they didn't know what. Well.... after Brnovich sent the girls to live with their father, they came to me and told me that their father had said I had promised that they would never be born. There's that loving father for you. A couple of weeks ago they wanted to know what an abortion was....Let's put two and two together and say that Father is up to something new...
There's the beautiful Father's Rights Movement for you. This man is telling my children that he never wanted them to be born, hinting that I had promised to kill them (this is a lie!) and then further messing with them by telling them that he never wanted me to kill them. This, of course, prompts some sort of discussion on my end. Then he will take what I said to the girls and somehow turn it against me. Let's see.
11/7/09
I met with a mother who has been dealing with the Maricopa County Family Court System for approx. 8 years. It was eye opening and frightening all at the same time. My suspicions were confirmed about Bill Wingard being part of the Father's Right's Group and setting me up by sending me to Diana Vigil and John Moran. They are neck high in the Father's Rights beliefs.
Kathleen Miholich lied to me when I first contacted her, she is so in deep with the Father's Rights Movment, her office partner, Ron Lavitt is one of the biggest proponents of Father's Rights in the state. She used to perform home visits for him before becoming a parent coordinator. So, a man who believes that Father's Rights outweigh the value of another person's life, trained Kathleen to be a parent coordinator. My question is this, I asked her if she was a part of the movement upon first contact, because I did not have the money to waste on someone whose secret agenda was to remove me from my children's lives. She lied and said that she didn't know anything about the movement, can I sue her for my money back? Plus all the time and effort and hope wasted upon someone whose sole intention is to destroy the mother/child relationship? Now we know why Kathleen has failed to move forward.
11/12/09
So, my children's father found this web site and told the children all about it. They were upset when my mother went to have lunch with them on Monday. He laughed about it and told them that it was stupid. He also told them that it was about them, so he basically told them that they are stupid in his eyes.
The funny thing is, he then sent a fake posting to our parent coordinator, kathleen Miholich. He claims that this web site scares him because I am delusional, ranting, raving, claiming conspiracies against me and religious persecution....
Where? I thought this site was a joke?
Tuesday was my evening with the girls. They had early release that day. I found out on Sunday and attempted to contact Kathleen, but could not get through. According to email instructions on Tuesdays with Lisa:
Greetings:
As per our many discussions, I have approved that Lisa have time with the girls on alternate Tuesdays after school. This is being done to make up for the time that she will spend taking the girls to see Dr. Wright on lternate Saturdays.
Lisa will be allowed to get the girls at Quail Run Elementary School at disissal time starting Tuesday, October 27, 2009. She is to arrange to meet father to exchange the girls around 6pm. Mother agrees to insure that the girls receive the evening meal before she returns them to father.
This will be a temporary schedule and will be in place until the end of November, 2009 at which point it will be reviewed and a determination will be made if the schedule is to continue. If problems arise prior to the end of November, the PC will have the authority to suspend the Tuesday time with mother, as determined.
Please give a copy of this email to Dr. Michaels, Principal at Quail Run Elementary School, where the girls attend K.
Kathleen Miholich, LCSW
Parenting Coordinator
I showed up at their school 10 minutes late for the early dismissal. No one else was there to get them. I took them based on Kathleen's email. Now, Kathleen is saying that I did not have the right. yet in another email, she says that it is our inability to get along that caused this breakdown in communication:
Too bad that you have been unable to manage a simple thing like the early release day. Neither of you aparently got the message from the other and the difficulty was excacerbated.
Kathleen has now informed me that she will take 3 hours away from me at some point. Never mind that I only had an extra 2 1/2 hours. yet, she is not going to do anything to father for his role.
Mind you, Father had to have known for awhile about the issue arising, yet look at when he attempted to contact Kathleen:
From: amj219@hotmail.com
To: kathymiho@hotmail.com
Subject: 9/10/09 visit
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:20:08 +0000
I'm sure Miss Abrams did not inform you and I tried to call but your voicemail was full. I wanted to let you know that tomorrow is an early release (12:30) day. I will pick up the girls at 12:30, bring them to the Starbucks at 3:00 and Miss Abrams can bring them back at 6:00 or Miss Abrams can pick up the girls from school at 12:30 and bring them to the Starbucks at 3:30. Until different court orders are enacted I cannot contact Miss Abrams due to the restraining order.
Yes, at 3:20 pm the day before, he attempts contact. Now, you need to know that he is lying, he is able to contact me regarding these issues. He filed an OOP against me for allegedly driving past his house and stealing his mail. Also, all of last year when i attempted to call the girls, he would repeatedly hang up the phone before I could leave a message or talk to them. i would have my attorney contact his about the problem with his phone, but his phone was working fine. Every time he hung up on me a 1 minute phone call recorded. He used it to claim that I was harrassing him. That's why there is an OOP out. He is afraid of me.
The first Tuesday with the girls, I turned off the 51 at Bell Road and was driving past a Movie Theatre with the girls. They began to cry and scream that I was going to be arrested because I was driving past the street they turn down off of Bell Road to get to their house. I am waiting for the police to arrest me because I don't have the right to drive on Bell Road. This is what I have lived with for the past 4 years.
11/14/09
I had to talk to the girls today about the every other Tuesday visits ending - Thank you Kathleen Miholich. They were crying. I was left with no other choice since Kathleen probably won't let me keep the last visit due to last Tuesday nights issues.
Anyway, we started out at Starbucks and then went to ballet. I had arranged a playdate with D's best friend, N. So, we went to the McD's across from PV mall and they played until a little after 2pm. Then it was time to go home. R watched Spongebob while D played with barbies.
It's kind of funny, at ballet there is this mother who is having issues with her daughter's father. She was telling me how she had told her daughter that the real reason that her father was taking her to cheer lessons was to see if anyone famous from the Cardinals was going to be there. I was flabbergasted. How could she put her daughter down like that? Whatever the truth is, that little girl needs to believe that her father is taking her because he wants time with her. Yet, this is the very crime that Hilliard and the state of AZ are holding against me. This mother was talking about how she showed pics she had gotten with member of the Cardinals to the ex. So, I guess we know the real reason she is taking her daughter to cheer. The pot calling the kettle black, at least that's my opinion.
When Adam had first come back into the girls lives, previously he had been in it for two days, I had hopes that he would do all of the sports types activities, the kind of stuff that dads do. Yet, I am the only one who puts them into activities and arranges play dates.
Later, we went to my friend M's house for dinner. She had another friend there, who has dealt with Kathleen Miholich, and this friend M2 asked why I would push my luck by writing about things. This is not just about me, this is about the children and other families out there. I believe that good parents can get caught up in arguing. It is my fervent hope that someone will see this web site read it and think twice before heading down this path of no return. Now, don't get me wrong, Adam and I would have ended up here no matter what.
My point is, if two people truly love the children, then reading all of this garbage that we are putting the children through may make them think twice. My children are already going to have issues. One of the most damaging things that can happen to a child is the loss of their mother, even more so than the father. the loss of meaningful time with the girls is damaging tot them, G can not take my place in their hearts no matter how mucher their father wants her to. So, how can Adam say that he loves his children if he is willing to do this to them?
I know what it's about, spiting me....I have come to terms with the situation, so his efforts to hurt me do not succeed anymore, who he is hurting are his daughters. Someday, the truth will come out. Unfortunately, the damage is done. My only hope is that if the courts can realize that I am not attempting to remove Adam from thier lives, just attempting to help him create a decent relationship, they will fix things so that the girls can learn from this experience and use these lessons in life, then what has ocurred can be turned into a learning experience and a less damaging one. I spoke with a woman whose children are teenagers now, having gone through something similar, her daughters are unable to form positive relationships with boys. I don't want that for my children. I really hope that my story can be a lesson to someone out there.
11/16/09
I spent Saturday with the girls. Their father has a new habit that is bothering them. He will say, "Ladies first." as they leave the house. He will then have his wife proceed him and then he walks out telling the children that they are not ladies. This bothers me because I feel that he is teaching the girls that they are to put themselves last. After all, isn't that where he is telling them that is where he puts them? He and his wife are telling them that they are not lady like and that they need to be more like G. More like G? This is the woman who is teaching them not to wipe after they go to the bathroom if they are heading straight into the bath tub! Great, so they are soaking in urine water. It's disgusting. I have told the girls that they are little girls and that while they are in the process of learning lady like behaviour, they need to remember to be children first. I, personally, love their little kidisms, I would dislike to see them disappear any sooner than they have to.
My mother went to have lunch with them today and their father showed up as well. He asked that my mother not buy them lunch today. She saw that he had packed them a special lunch, what i mean by special is that he packed items that they like to eat. when I spoke to them on the phone tonight, I mentioned how nice it was that they got to have lunch with Mama and Daddy. He forced them to hang up the phone. He does not like when i am attempting to be positive about things with the girls that involve him. The problem is, is that When we go back to court, he will lie and Hilliard will believe him. This is the judge that believed my children ate like animals before their father explained about utensils, this is sarcasm.
11/18/09
I went to Quail Run Elementary to participate in Book Worms in my daughter's classes. Adam of course did not send their lunch boxes. Of all days he lets the girls buy lunch, it's chicken nuggets and bbq sandwich. They wouldn't have eaten it. R would have had a banana and a roll. D would have had a banana. I brought my lunches that I had packed for them. For R, I made her a butter sandwich, her favorite. She also had two pieces of Kraft American Cheese, peaches, a banana and cookies. D had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with the crusts cut off (Adam after a year and half, why won't you cut the crusts off her sandwiches?), applesauce, a banana and cookies. I decided to come back and have lunch with them when I saw that he did not send their lunch boxes. Mind you, these were lunch boxes that I bought 3 years ago, so he does not have any ownership rights to them. After Book Worms, D's teacher, Mrs. M, asked if I wanted to stay. I said yes and then I wiped down the entire classroom. Trying to keep things clean due to swine flu.
When I was walking to the lunch room with them, R's teacher, Mrs. S. saw me, she was very upset that I was still there. Mrs. S. is good friends with Adam's' mother, Ellen. Ellen is a fourth grade teacher at Quail Run. I can't wait for the subsequent fall out from my accepting Mrs. M's offer to sanitize the classroom. I am sure that Adam will claim that I somehow managed to corner D and yell at her to hate her father, again - sarcasm.
11/21/09
Wow - it's a red letter Saturday! Adam did not send the girls with any prearranged statements. I am so impressed. It was a pretty good day, despite the fact that the girls were extremely cranky because they always stay up late on Friday nights. We did not have any strange and disturbing conversations today. We went to ballet and then headed to Scottsdale Mall to check out the new children's play place that was built by Architecture Kids. Their little friend came with us. On the way there, I let the girls have my cell phone to call their friend in the other car. It was so cute to hear the conversation between them.
Once there, we realized that Santa was already at the mall! I thought he wasn't supposed toshow up until after Thanksgiving? Anyway, the girls visited Santa and then we got a picture with the three of them together. These girls have known eachother since they were 18 months old! My friend, M, and her daughter, S< have been in the girls lives longer than their father! Crazy!We left the mall and went to Sprinkles...I have to say that I was not overly impressed. In a time when money is tight - why is Sprinkles doing such a good business? Maybe I am just picky.
We headed home and R fell asleep on the way, which says a lot because R never takes naps. The girls wanted a lot of cuddle time with me. We had a great time walking the dog and being silly. It was such a pleasure not to have to stress about a set up from their father. Thanks to whatever entity made him not send the girls with some sort of trap.
On the way back the girls were laughin over the word "butt." They think it's funny that it's spelled both "butt" and "but." I had to explain the difference. They are stil at the stage where potty talk is funny to them. A couple of years ago, they were calling Adam's step-father, Chuck Gadinis, "PooPoo" instead of "Pa Pou." Adam complained that I set it up. he couldn't grasp that the kids were in the potty talking stage and that it would stop if he ignored it. It was the one time that his wife, Gina Vandenburg James, agreed that he should back off.
I try to let them get the sillies out before they head back to their father, he is much more strict on what they can talk about. I think that's why they still think potty talk is funny. As long as he gives it a lot of importance, they will continue it.
However, I want to say, again, that I am thrilled that he did not send them with any messages this week. Maybe it's a step in the right direction!
11/28/09
Another Saturday with the girls. No ballet because of it being Thanksgiving weekend. We went through the drive thru at Starbucks and headed strainght home. On the way home R stated that she hated something and D said something to the affect that hate is bad. I try to teach the girls that hate is an emotion and there are no bad emotions. Adam has told them that when they say that they hate something they really mean that they want that thing/person to die. I think that is rather dramatic. After all, I say that I hate tomatoes. Do I want tomatoes to die? Well, they're not really alive, and I appreciate that other people like tomatoes. R loves them. So do I want tomatoes obliterated from the earth - NO. I just hate tomatoes. Saying I don't like them or really don't like them just does not seem to express correctly how I feel about tomatoes.
What bothers the girls is that Adam tells them all the time that he hates me! The girls feel that this means that he wants me to die. What do I say to them, because that is exactly what Adam is telling his children. Mind you, he has been telling them that since midway into 2006. They would come home with death threats from him. He would call me up at work and threaten to kill me when I left that evening. Sometimes he would tell the girls things that were in my car, that the only way he would know was if he had been near my car. It was his attempt to intimidate me.
I, foolishly, thought that Adam was too afraid to actually act out on it and that this was a bullying tactic. However, after reading an article (I think it was Susan Murphy Milano) stating that murder is the final act of control of an abuser over his/her victim, I wonder. Maybe I should thank Susan Brnovich for saving my life. For, I really think that he gets so much joy out of abusing the children and my knowing that I can't help them, that he would never kill me at this point.
But, more importantly, I have no one to ask questions to, so I ask anyone out there, how do I answer a question like, "If Daddy wants you to die, how can he love us?" without causing further harm? I attempt to side step it with the standard, "well, what do you think?" However, they have come to their own conclusions and need reassurance that Adam does not want me dead and that he won't kill me. Considering the fact that he is still telling them how life will be when I am dead, I have a hard time doing that. I simply told them that I did not hate their father. And I am the dangerous one... that's right, I could actually raise decent children with just a few issues and instead Adam is raising children who will support a therapist their entire lives. Thanks Susan Brnovich and Ruth Hilliard, can you keep up the great job and the great referrals?
11/30/09
So, now I know why Adam isn't sending the girls to me with suggestive messages (see Adam's emails). He is busy working with Kathleen Miholich on having me placed on supervised visits. He knows that I can not afford it. Does a father who loves his children really want to have the mother removed? I do not do drugs or hurt them, the only thing he has on me is that I take Prozac, I have never been diagnosed with depression, and that he feels that I am "crazy" due to my web site. "crazy" is the latest gimmick in the abusive father's handbook. Yes, I say abusive, because I feel that all this crap is his way of abusing me. The sad thing is, is that Hilliard is lpart of the Father's Rights Movement, so we can guess which way she is going to rule. If I am wrong aout Hillirad's involvement, then I apologise, however everything I have read about her has been disheartening and disappointing. My children have been telling me that he says once I am removed from their lives, he won't let them see any member of my family. This is a nice person. Well, Adam here is a message to you. If I am removed, I am going to petition that you must take them to Jewish services and I will continue to make sure that you are using their legal name. Not seeing the girls will not stop me. The whole point of the web site is to let them know how hard I fought for them. You will not stop me. I will continue to speak out against you. A good father would attempt to reach across the divide for the sake of the children. I have offered you an olive branch before and you ignored it. The girls know you want me to die - I will outlive you because I am a fighter. Once the girls are old enough, the truth will come out.
12/01/09
I have been told that my thoughts seem to be focusing on the negative. I thought that I might explain why I seem so negative.
I used to have faith in people. I used to believe that as long as you told the truth, everything would work out. That was before I had to deal with the people involved in my children's case. I still had faith in people when I hired Bill Wingard to help my children. However, Bill took over three thousand dollars to set me up with the Custody Evaluation. He sent me to Diana Vigil, knowing full well that she is a Father's Rights Advocate. I should have suspected something when Adam was willing to go along with it.
Julie Skakoon, who did the evaluatiion is one of the most unethical people you would ever have the misfortune of coming across. She blatantly lied in the evaluation to create a persona of me that is less than flattering. Then she very brilliantly claimed that I like to play "the victim." Thereby insuring that no one would believe that Adam is committing Domestic Violence By Proxy. Leaving me and my children to be victimized by him over and over again.
Bill Wingard said that Judge Pro-Tem Susan Brnovich didn't like him and suggested that I use a friend of his as my "actual" attorney. He promised to stay on the case for free and help Chris Rike. Chris Rike is a useless piece of doggy doo. When I told Chris about the fallacies in the custody eval, he said that there was nothing I could do about it. I later found out that he lied to me.
Yet that wasn't the worst of his lies. When Hilliard was appointed my judge, I told him to request a change of judge. He refused.He manipulated me into keeping Hilliard.
Anyway, here we are now. Has Kathleen come out and said that she is recommending supervised visits, no. However I have a complete lack of faith in her honesty. Maybe i am doing her a disservice. Maybe she has enough character and ethics that lying to Hilliard would be too much, I don't know. I hope that Kathleen Miholich does what she has said that will do, which is to tell Hilliard about everything - that includes all of Adam's lies.
However, I am plagued with doubts. After all, she has yet to hold Adam accountable for any of his actions. which is what I have been asking her to do since the beginning. I begged, cried, screamed, yelled... I know that I can be hard to deal with at times. But these are my children and they are being abused by thier father. What would you do? Since creating my web site and discovering the plethura of parents in the same situation, I have realized that my reactions are normal. I think however, that the court system can't handle normal. So they reward the unemotional parent. A non-emotional parent is not natural! Why can't they comprehend that?
Anyway, back on track. I will wish with all of my heart that Kathleen Miholich is an honest person. That Mary is right when she says that Kathleen sees through Adam's games. I will ask that anyone reading this (except Adam and his family and friends) wish, pray or whatever for my children that Kathleen tell the truth and that Hilliard has an attack of conscience and protects my children. I will hope and wish and...
12/10/09
So, I contacted kathleen Miholich b/c I don't have the medical coverage for the therapeutic visits for the the girls and Adam refuses to allow his insurance to be used if I take the girls. He is responsible for providing medical coverage for the girls. This has been an ongoing issue since August. One more attempt to block my involvement. She said that she will inform the judge of his behavior. What I find frustrating is that I begged her to inform Hilliard of all of Adam's crap back in August. Now, we haven't moved anywhere and Adam is still playing his games. How is this in the best interest of the girls???? Can anyone tell me how his actions show his cooperation with the judge's order? Mind you, Hilliard ordered him to get me a copy of the girls' insurance card. He refused and Kathleen let him get away with it. All I can do is hope that kathleen has enough integrity to live up to her word and inform Hilliard...
12/17/09
So, yesterday I had a meeting with Kathleen. i was curious as to what she had to say to me. it started out much of the same. Adam refuses to let Dr. Wright bill the girls' insurance if I take them for a visit. Actually, Kathleen's stance was that he would have to pay for the visit. I said that I was willing to pay the copay, but that I should be able to use his insurance for the girls'.
It is so frustrating that we are still discussing this issue 6 months after Adam created the problem.I get so frustrated that she allows him to play these games.
Anyway, while there she contacted Adam and he started all his crap. Again - frustrating! why she gives so much credence to him, I will never know. Luckily Dr. Wright was there and she shined some light into what the girls are really aware of and talking about. I wonder - how many lies does Kathleen have to catch Adam in before she starts reporting him to Hilliard?
The issues with the lunch boxes came up again. Adam had sent me a message through the girls' stating that I could keep them. Kathleen said that it was wrong to send messages through the girls. I AGREE, which is why I did not send the lunch boxes back! Why do we need to accentuate our inability to get along by fighting through the girls? Kathleen, when are you going to realize that I am doing the best I can with Adam. He will always find a way to create problems.What I am frustrated with you for is not stopping him. I thought that was your job. To put an end to the crap and report to Hilliard if one of us was deliberately putting road blocks in the way. Thank goodness Adam has enough money to pay for the entire report.
During the meeting she spoke with Adam on the phone and discussed my web site and blogging with him. She told him that I have the right to blog, but that he could sue me for defamation of character. Kathleen, he could only sue if what I wrote were lies. The fact is, what i write about Adam is the truth and he knows it. I still have the email he sent to me asking me to lie to the FBI if they asked if he had ever made racist statements in front of me. You, see he has and that's how I know he's a racist.
Kathleen does not like my site and she let me know it. I am sorry Kathleen, but this is bigger than just Adam and me and the girls. My personality is such that when I see a wrong, I want to right it. Yes, I believe that Adam is abusing the girls, however I have since learned that many children have it far more worse than mine. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I ignored it. Someone has to take a stance. If throughout history, people had not fought against injustices, we would not have a lot fo the laws and programs we have. Think of Code Adam and the Amber Alert for example.
When I was in college, I had little pics of a dog with a note saying, "I am so hot I could cry, If you leave me in this car I could die." Then I would list several facts about the damage done to a dog if they are left in a hot car. Whenever I would see dogs left in cars, I would put a note on their windshield. You see, I want to protect the innocent and helpless, that is my nature. Did it do any good to put notes on these people's cars, I will never know. However, if I helped one animal then it was worth it.
If by writing and blogging I help one child, then it is worth it. If by blogging and writing I give one combative couple reason to pause, it was worth it. I know that people are not perfect and I know I am not perfect, but I face my faults head on and use my mistakes to grow and help others. I am sorry that you can't understand my motives for what I do. I know that you think I am attempting to hurt people, but it's not the case. I am attempting to help my children, other children and anyone else who is willing to learn from my mistakes.
12/19/09
Another Saturday with the girls. They had their little recital, so to speak, today. It was beautiful. My friend videotaped it and is going to give me two copies. One for me and one for shit head, otherwise known as Adam marc James. Why would I give him a copy? To show that I can be nice. I am still waiting for a copy of the video of their first day of school and of their Nursery Rhyme show... well, hell hasn't frozen over so I still have hope.
We celebrated Christmas with them today. I can't have them for the Jewish holidays because..well, no one can give a good reason other than Kathleen and I don't get along. Christmas is a Christian holiday, so of course it would be hypocritical to let me see them. Luckily, Santa comes to my restaurant to eat and I asked if he could deliver his presents early. He agreed and we celebrated today. Then I took them to the mall for a new outfit. Their shirts were getting too small. We went to Justice. OMG! I forgot how much fun it is to go shopping for them! I had a blast, they had a blast. Justice is doing to be my downfall. I could have bought the store out!! I let them pick out their shirts and accessories, they didn't need any new jeans. It is so amusing, because they wanted the same shirts! Adam won't let them dress alike.. that's a story , or blog, for another time. Anyway, I was very amused by this. They got the same shirt, but dfferent colors. Everyone smiled at them as we walked through the mall. The girls had a blast. Apparently, they do not get to choose their clothes with their father. I like to let them have a little amount of control and decision making in ther lives. Afte all, they are people.
Ruth Hilliard -
On the other page, I discuss case issues and how Hilliard is an anti-mother, pro-father judge. My case went in front of Hilliard this past January. It was affected by a temporary order from April 2008 by Judge-Pro-Tem Susan Brnovich. Susan Brnovich is now a Commissioner, she was trying for a position as a judge and did not get appointed. Basically, my argument with Hilliard is that she did not do her job. I put this in bold because this is my argument to remove her from the bench.
First of all, Father abandoned children prior to birth, stipulated to paternity in March 2004, left the state in July 2004, was forced to pay child support in August 2004 and came to see his daughters for the very first time on Dec. 24, 2004. There is a law on the Arizona books that states when custody is to be decided between parents who were not married, the court goes back to when paternity was established and looks at parents actions within the next six months. I have had police officers, CPS agents and so forth say that he should not have anything more than visitation due to his behaviour.
So, Susan Brnovich did a favour for her friend, Father's lawyer, Gail Christensen. Mind you Gail left Arizona this year and moved to Texas. Gail is also under indictment with the Federal Court for failure to fulfill her fudiciary duty and mishandling of client's funds. In other words, she's a thief.
Finally, the rotation of Judges occurred and we were left with Hilliard. In the Custody Evaluation, Julie Skakoon (of John Moran's office) states the following:
*She felt that Father was playing the role of the perfect parent.
*She felt that Father was saying whatever he needed to say to get his way and then he would
not follow any rules and do what he wanted.
*That Father was deliberately antagonizing me.
So, basically when Julie stated that she felt that Father was more likely to keep me in the children's lives than I was to keep him, she also knew that he was lying to get what he wanted and that he would make attempts to remove me from their lives once the court hearings were over.
So, Hilliard, after stating at least three times that Father was not perfect, didn't even take any of this into account when she made her rulings. In her ruling she did nothing to safeguard against Father making attempts to remove me from the girls' lives. All she did was write in the order that my family and I had every right to participate in their educational and extracurricular activities. Now, when Father attempted to thwart that, Hilliard didn't put anything in the court order telling Parent Coordinator what to do. This ties the Parent Coordinators hands with what actions she can take.
